I suck, I suck, I suck.

Yes.

I suck. 

I’m sorry girls!  I totally bailed on y’all!!!!

I am sitting here drinking a coke.  And yesterday I ate at Chili’s.  And everyday for the past 2 weeks I have been BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD.

Why!?

Shit.  I don’t know. 

I just gave up. 

WHY do I do that?!?  WHAT is it in my brain that just turns off?  Do I not want to be that better, healthier person that is deep down inside of me?

UGH. 

I promise to get back in the swing of things. 

I promise to be a better skinny sister!

Imagine…

a 18.6 ounce can of soup… that’s pretty big…

now.. imagine…

That ENTIRE can of soup is only 100 calories.

Are you imagining?

The flavor.

Imagine the flavor.

.

.

.

.

 

Yep.  That’s pretty much what it tastes like.

I think I had PMS.

Last week was pathetic! Just pathetic.

I was lazy.  Didn’t go to the gym… didn’t care what I ate… and I ate, too.

LOL.

ok.  enough of fat amy taking over my life.

Someone should google something about habits and update us… give us the info.

There’s something like it takes 30 days to break a habit.  How long does it take to gain a new habit? lol

It is a lot of work trying to get all my gym stuff ready to go in the AM.  Then i gotta take a shower and dry my hair and put on makeup and all that crap AND be at work at 9 am!

So it’s going to have to be a nightly thing.  And thanks to my skinnykarrie, I now know that I need to get get a gym bag together with like 3 sets of work out clothes…

I got this cool app for my iphone, too.  Today is the first day I have been using it.

It’s called “Lose it!” I have entered my body weight, my age, height, and goal weight.  It has calculated that to lose 2 lbs per week I need to consume 1791 calories per day.

That means… i am a fat ass and eat a lot.

lol

Right now i will reach my goal weight near or around my birthday in July 2010.  That’s reasonable.

So hopefully I can turn that into 1200 calories a day and add exercise and I should lose more than 2lbs per week.  And maybe I can shave 6 months off of that #…. and be a skinnybitch by the cruise! lol

Me and Aunt E.M.

and by Aunt E.M. I mean the Elliptical Machine…

Last night I went to the gym and started with a 5 minute warm up on the treadmill. 

Then I went and stretched my poor aching muscles.   I LOVE stretching!!!

Time for some cardio…..

It’s a love hate thing I think. This thing called the elliptical machine.  I LOVE the amount of calories you can burn on this thing!  I LOVE that there is no stress on your joints.

I HATE that it makes my quads hurt.  I HATE that I can’t figure out how I am supposed to move my body on it.

For reals, yo… are you supposed to sway back and forth?  That’s what my fat ass and hips do… I kinda bounce from left to right… is that right?

Or am I supposed to kinda “hover?”  You know – when you go to a public potty… is that what you are supposed to do?!  Kinda hang on with your feet and hands and keep your core stationary?

Too complicated!

But I did manage to spend 10:32 on Aunt E.M.  I did the “arm buster” work out… every minute and 1/2 or so you have to push/pull the arm things.  It was a good work out.

I went and used the nautilus equipment for about 15 minutes…

Then the treadmill for another 10…

Then back to the elliptical machine for 7.

I must have done a good job this time… my legs feel good… not at all as horrendously sore as before, but that “good” ache… and my ass feels like it’s been raised 6 inches…

I have no idea if I am doing all this right, but I am up and moving, yes!?

Just don’t ask me what I am eating…

Off to the gym!

I walked a mile in 22:16…  I might go back this evening, not sure yet.

My co-worker, Phillip did give me some info yesterday – all of the exercises that us girls were doing on the nautilus machines were all done wrong. LOL

Well we did the leg ones good… the arm ones, not so much!  I had my elbows where my knees shoulda been.  Oh well!

Live, learn, then you die at the gym.

**********************************

Yes girls… at 6:30 AM!  UGH!

I am meeting one of the girls at 7!

Wish me luck! 

My legs finally have the “good” ache.

I’ll update later!

Today at the gym was better!

My 2 co-workers and I were able to all go together this evening after work. 

It felt good to “dress out” into my gym clothes after work!  While I was walking to my truck, I actually had a little spring in my step.  Well… that could have been my thigh muscles locking up and making me walk with straight legs…

We got to the gym and got our stuff in the lockers and went to the fitness floor. 

It’s so nice to go to the gym with someone else.  For me, it’s a motivator.  I am a big show off. LOL  – Have you noticed!? 

We stretched (must remember to do this when I am alone.)

Then I started over in the circuit training area.  I did some arm exercises! After about 2 sets(haha) I went over to where the girls were.  I wasn’t sure I was going to do anything with my legs, but I knew I had to get some cardio. 

I started on the treadmill next to my friend Misty on the elliptical machine****  and pressed start.  It started out at .5 miles an hour… uhh… a little faster please!

Eventually, I got it up to a nice speed – 2.9 mph.  In 10 minutes I walked a half mile!  It was a little hard to get off of the treadmill – for some reason stepping DOWN is almost impossible.  My quads are so fatiqued that it can’t handle my weight when my legs are slightly bent – so my knee shoots back and I become peg legged! UGH.

(I’m not going to lie.  Today was tough.  After a nice turkey with avacado, tomato and broccoli sprout wrap (on a whole wheat wrap thing) that my darling Hubby made me for dinner – I took a pill.  And I mean a PILL.  Narcotics folks. 2 of em actually. I think I will use a heating pad tonite too… I keep stretching them out – here’s to hoping it will be better tomorrow! lol)

I walk around a little bit and do some other arm exercises.  We help each other out with leg lifts (NOT ME!) and other equipment.  I do some reverse crunches… I wish my legs weren’t in so much pain, I would have done a little more…  After about 30 minutes of upper body stuff we head back over to the treadmills and elliptical machines.

This time Kristy (yes, Misty and Kristy! lol) is on the elliptical machine next to me and I am on the treadmill.

I get the treadmill back up to 2.9 mph, but decide not to stay at that pace the whole 10 minutes.  I think I dropped it down to 2.5  – I did manage to do another half a mile!

We did some more stretching when we were done – Misty and I fooled around with a 6 lb medicine ball…  of course we had no idea what we were doing… but that thing was heavy!

I don’t think I am going to make it to the gym tomorrow.  I WANT to… but it depends on how my legs feel in the morning.  I enjoyed the treadmill.  I think I will enjoy just the treadmill. 

******here’s an update on the “elliptical” machine…

I learned today that there are apparently 2 types of elliptical machines… The one Misty and Kristy used today have arms that move back and forth.  They also had easier to read displays.  The one I used yesterday does not have movable arms.  It’s a bit taller and bulkier looking…  So after one of my times on the treadmill I went and looked at it…

It’s called the ELLIPTICAL CROSSTRAINER.  It was set on LEVEL 10.  So yesterday… I did 10 minutes on LEVEL 10!!!!!!!!!!  It’s like I was climbing stairs and squatting at the same time FOR 10 MINUTES!!!!  I actually did 2 minutes on level 1 on the pretty elliptical machine with the moving arms… Guess what!?  That one has a little fan that blows on you.

So… the moral of today’s story (or would that be yesterday?) is:

Don’t worry what anyone else thinks.  This journey is a personal one.  Who cares what you look like when you start.  You are on a mission to find your skinnyself. So DAMMIT!  Take the time to read the machine… figure the machine out.  DON’T force it.  If it gets too hard – stop.  It’s supposed to burn (and omg did it…) but you should still be able to walk when you are done!

~skinnyamy

How to spend an hour at the gym… and only work out 10 minutes…

The company I work for is a property management company.  One of the properties that we manage (and own a portion of) has a large club house with tennis, indoor racquetball, pools, free weights, and various cardio machines.  

They have offered to let employees use this facility to stay in shape (or in my case, get back in shape.)

3 of us from my office have signed up and gotten our little photo ID.

What a glorious Monday morning to workout.

The fog is so thick, I can barely see 5 cars ahead of me driving to the gym at 7:20 this morning.  I call one of my co-workers to verify our 7:30am meeting time.  She says I didn’t call to confirm this weekend, so she is still getting her daughter ready for school.

Do I go alone?  I haven’t been to a gym in years… I am a big girl.  Won’t I look silly going to the gym?  Especially by myself. UGH!

Well I have my workout clothes on, and I got up early – might as well go.

There are a couple of older men - one on the treadmill, one on an eliptical machine and one using a weight machine.  There is also a lady over at the weight machine with her personal trainer.

7:25 am – Sign in.  Chat up the desk people a little.

7:30 am – Go to the women’s locker room.  It’s super swanky.  Find a locker, pull out my iphone and headphones and make my way back to the workout floor.

7:35 am – Stare blankly at the eliptical machine.  (Thinking of Regan working it!!!!) Stare at it some more.  Read everything it says on the top… Not sure it’s all making sense yet, but am ready to try…

7:37 am – Try to clip my iphone on my pants.

Are you kidding me?!  I am trying to slip this stinking iphone case quietly and nicely onto my pants so i don’t have to hold it…. uuuuggggggghhhh! Come on!  I finally get it hooked…

7:39 am – Get on the eliptical. Yes girls, I actually made it onto the machine!

7:41 am – Turn the thing on by pressing the quickstart button.

This is cool.  Ok… Where are my feet supposed to go?  Up to the front?  Down toward the bottom…???  I change it up a few times and find something that is comfortable.

I am rocking out to the Killer’s “Hot Fuss” album.  LOVE it!  I am reading all the little displays on the machine.  Time on machine 1:28 (one minute twenty eight seconds girls.) OMG.  I am starting to sweat.  AND CRAMP. The bottoms of my feet just don’t like me. Shoes – no shoes - sand – rubber mat – eliptical machine… doesn’t matter because my feet just don’t like any of it.

Sweating a little bit… hanging on for dear life.  The little lights next to my ass and thighs on the display are lit up.  Good thing the calves aren’t lit up too.

Now 6:43 minutes in…. I AM DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg  are you kidding me?  This is ridiculous.  I press the little down arrow… will that make it any easier???  Next thing I know – this machine sounds like a garbage truck.  Metal against metal grinding that I can hear over my headphones.  Lord.  Please don’t let the big girl break the machine…

I didn’t break it… but guess what – NOW the light on my calves is lit up with the rest of them.  great.

I am at least going to go 10 minutes.  Come on!  You can make it!!!!!!

8:50 in.  Jesus.  Please let this be over with soon.  Must. Not. Quit.

9:30 in.  Ok 30 seconds to go.  SPRINT!  (Cuz that’s what you are supposed to do, right?)

10:00 minutes!  There.  I am done.

7:41 am.  What?!  There are stairs to get out of here?  Where did they come from?!?!? Did I walk down the stairs to get in here?  Hopefull no one is looking at me… my legs are like rubber. 

And I think I used to have knees.

7:42  am – I make it into the locker room.  I find the lovely leather benches and just sit for a little bit. Trying to get my heart rate down.  I know “walking it off” would be the best thing to do – but I can’t feel my legs.

Turn off my iphone – cuz now the Killers are just pissing me off.

7:45 am – Get up grab a few towels and my bag and head to the shower.  Get undressed, start the water… finally figure out how to get the hot water on.

7:50am – finally get into the shower.  Now I realize that I have only brought conditioner.  Good thing there is a pump on the wall with soap, shampoo, and shave gel.

8:10 am – Fully dressed, head on over to the vanity to blow dry my hair and get some makeup on.

8:20 am – I sneak out the back instead of walking back through the fitness floor.  It’s the big girl’s walk of shame.   It’s ok that I have to walk an extra block…  I just don’t want to confront anyone… I mean – I just spent 10 minutes working out. LOL… just 10.  UGH.

Tomorrow I will just stick to the treadmill… If I can find my legs.

~skinnyme

I WANT a chocolate donut…

You know… the little ones that come in a bag… I could eat the whole bag!!!

But instead… here I sit with lettuce and cucumbers… yummmm.

Why does eating have to be part of what you weigh? LOL

I am serious.  WHY are they connected. DANG IT!

UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

Why?

I guess this is the time where it gets tough.

The first week or so when you start dropping a little weight – it feels amazing.  

It’s probably water weight.

It’s just a tease.

For about 2 weeks – including this weekend – I have made healthy choices.  Started walking.  Dropped about 7 pounds…

Well.

I gained 1.5 back. 

Why?!

WTF?

How come this happens? 

It is so discouraging.  You think you are just going to keep dropping and every day you think the scale is going to reward you with a lower number.

I am not giving up though.  I am still making healthy choices.  I am not drinking soda.  I am reducing both my portions and my caloric intake.

I am freaking hungry and I look the same.

Makes a girl wanna cry.

Yesterday and Today…

Yesterday was rough.  I was pretty busy at work… and gave my healthy choice soup to this really cute guy!

So… yesterday – bannana for breakfast – creamy cow swiss cheese triangles (2) for lunch with some chips and snacked on walnuts all day…  Was really too busy to pay attention… OH~ then there was the whole traumatic “dumping” of the coke…

Anyway…

I stopped to see Hubby on my way  home.  It hit me.  And hit me hard.  I WAS STARVING TO DEATH.  RIGHT THERE.  IN LE CREUSET.  I was dying.

I said good bye – I am going to go get a big, fat, greasy, juicy, wonderful, flavorful, disgusting cheeseburger on the way home.

Thankfully he stopped me.  Instead, I was able to find a nice taco salad for dinner.  They must have just opened their fresh “bag” of lettuce – I had like a whole head of lettuce on that thing!  Yum.

So I am so thankful for everyone in my life that is helping skinnyme emerge.  This is the best thing I have ever done.

Tonite – we are going to a restaurant… a real one!  Longhorns. lol

The in laws are treating.

I have to be good.

I have already consulted a skinnyme.  4 oz of red meat and a glass of red wine should be acceptable.  I will have a salad.  And I guess I will choose some stupid vegetables instead of the potato.

LOL

dang it!

I will be good.

I promise girls.

I will be good and make skinnyme choices this evening.

~skinnyamy

 

Update… I had water… a slice of bread (whole grain type loaf at the table.)  A 7oz fillet with mushrooms and fontina cheese (OMG!!!!!!!!) steamed veggies (which were more like RAW veggies….) salad…. and…. that’s it!

Pretty good,  skinnyme thinks!